When Popular Advice Makes Things Worse: What to Know if You’re Stuck in Fight-or-Flight

You’ve tried everything you’re “supposed” to but no matter how hard you work on yourself… something deeper isn’t shifting. You’re not doing it wrong. You’re just missing a piece.

If you’ve ever blamed yourself for not being consistent enough, disciplined enough, or positive enough—this might help you understand yourself better.

The truth is: when your body is stuck in a chronic fight-or-flight response, a lot of well-meaning advice becomes counterproductive.

Not because you’re not trying hard enough. But because your body is protecting you. And protection doesn’t respond to logic—it responds to perceived safety.

So let’s talk about some of the most common pieces of advice that can quietly keep you stuck (and what to do instead).

1. “Just push through it.”

This is the nervous system equivalent of telling someone with a broken leg to run faster. When your body is in survival mode, pushing harder can reinforce the very response you’re trying to escape. Instead of pushing, ask: what part of me doesn’t feel safe to slow down?

2. “You have to want it badly enough.”

This one sounds motivating—but it implies your current state is due to a lack of desire. It’s not. I’ve never met a client who didn’t want to feel better. But when your subconscious links safety to staying stuck, even strong desire won’t override deep protection.

3. “Reframe your thoughts.”

Thoughts are important—but they sit on top of something deeper: meaning. You can’t reframe what your subconscious still believes is dangerous. Until you resolve the original meaning your body attached to an experience, a new thought won’t feel true.

4. “Be more consistent.”

Consistency can be powerful—but not if your system sees it as a threat. If you’re in survival mode, consistency often leads to burnout or rebellion, not results. Safety first. Then structure. Always in that order.

5. “Stick to the plan—no excuses.”

Plans built on punishment or force rarely lead to freedom. And let’s be honest—your nervous system doesn’t care about your planner. It cares about perceived threat. The goal isn’t rigid discipline—it’s sustainable safety.

6. “Stop overthinking.”

Overthinking is often a hyper-vigilant coping strategy—your mind scanning for risk because your body still feels unsafe. Telling it to “stop” only adds shame. Instead, get curious: What would I need to feel safe enough to pause?

7. “Feel the fear and do it anyway.”

Acting through fear might create short bursts of progress—but it doesn’t heal the root. Fear needs to be understood, not bulldozed. Doing it “anyway” can reinforce the idea that your body must be ignored to move forward. That’s not healing. That’s override.

8. “Focus on your goals, not your feelings.”

This is the fast track to emotional bypassing. Your feelings are feedback. Data. Clues. Ignoring them keeps the loop running—and the weight of those unprocessed emotions often shows up in your symptoms.

9. “You just need more willpower.”

Willpower is a conscious choice. But most of what keeps you stuck is subconscious. This advice turns healing into a performance. But you don’t need more performance. You need permission.

10. “Fake it till you make it.”

Pretending to be okay doesn’t create real safety. It creates disconnection—from your body, your truth, and your healing. Real change happens when you stop faking and start listening.

So what does help?

When you’re stuck in a pattern—whether it’s emotional eating, chronic fatigue, or frustration with weight—it’s rarely because you haven’t tried hard enough.

It’s because part of your subconscious still believes that staying stuck = staying safe.

That’s where my work begins.

In Reclaim, we don’t throw more strategies at the symptoms. We uncover the original meaning that’s keeping your body in protection mode—and release it at the root.

Because once your subconscious feels safe again, your nervous system doesn’t need to hold on.

Ready to stop trying to fix yourself—and start understanding yourself? Take the [Reclaim Breakthrough Quiz] to discover the pattern you’re stuck in and the deeper root behind it.

Your body’s not failing. It’s communicating. Let’s listen.

Ready to stop spiralling and start shifting?

Book your RESOLVE SESSION today.

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